Grocery Store Slave Labour

Well, the big boot cast is finally off. I have some kind of fancy pants tape on my ankle that is supposed to help the inside injury to recover in six weeks. I'm supposed to be able to use a cane...I went out and bought one (and then had the senior's special at iHop at 16h30 that night - kidding...) but I haven't been able to use it quite yet.

I am pretty impatient, especially because I thought that once the boot was off, I would be able to come and go as I please. I was able to drive to get my hair done and I was able to do little things here and there...oh, and I'm able to sleep most nights without waking up now, but I'm still pretty limited. I'm using one or two crutches and everything requires a lot of effort....and I'm sooooooo over it.

Even the dog finds it boring...

The good news is that I've been able to modify my Beachbody workouts (more on that later) so that I can do pilates or upper body workouts from my workout room (that's what the second bedroom has been turned into until I figure out what I'm doing with it). These are helping me keep my morale up a bit and I'm sure helping the other muscles in my body while my leg is healing.

Another physio appointment tomorrow....and I'm hoping for some good news. In the meantime, yes, my kitchen has been cleaned, and I'll leave you with two photos of how I get asked to take the dog out for a walk. Her technique lacks a little subtlety.

She asks to come up on my lap, and then tries to attack my face with dog kisses.

It's funny whenever someone comes to the door, Maggie runs down the stairs to greet them because she thinks they are there to walk her. But when it's my turn to walk her (which isn't half as fun because we walk about 100 meters), I have to near force her to come with me and she'll slowly make her way down the stairs, with TONS of encouragement. I haven't been able to figure out if she's really smart enough to be scared of these stairs because she saw me fall down them.

The dog, by the way, is healing perfectly now that she is missing fifteen of her teeth and manages to eat her hard food, play "goalie" (I throw her food at her, she stops it from going under the fridge) on a regular basis, and go for hour long walks with her dog walker (who will be laid off as soon as I'm able to walk her more than five steps).

Tomorrow I have lunch with the boy, physio, and then "choosing" my groceries. I go to the store, pick what I want, put it in a cart, pay for it, and then go home and a nice young man carries it up the two steps of death trap stairs and puts all of the groceries on my kitchen table. For the big ticket price of THREE DOLLARS. Nearly every store in my area offers this service.....I'm just not sure why I've been hauling my groceries around all this time. City living ain't so shappy.

Goodnight and wish me luck for tomorrow!!

Pastry, Maggie, and my Kitchen

If you should ever find yourself in Montreal, please visit L'Artisan (address on the photo below). It was less than one block from my first Montreal apartment and it might just be the best bakery in the province....or the country. Yep, that good. The owner is very kind and he knows me because I used to go every weekend and bring Maggie, and then I brought in my grandma and aunt, and then of course, I had to bring my mom. He was very kind and gave me his card in case I needed something. I wasn't sure if there was a "wink wink" after he said that....but the thought was appreciated. :D

Yesterday before my mom left we picked up a pastry and then headed over to Starbucks 'cause the coffee is pretty crappy at the patisserie, and I also wanted to get some sun. After a two solid months of +30*C and extremely high humidity, we had a week of autumn-ish weather and some rain so the sun was much needed. And I needed some sun 'cause I've been pretty freaking crabby lately. My main injury is healing nicely, but my secondary injury is causing me some grief.

Today I went to the doctor - an orthopedic dude, who looked at my foot and saw that it was clearly far from healed and also thought it my secondary injury was fairly odd, so I need to get an MRI and come back in three weeks. Who knows when I'll get the MRI....but I have a physio appointment tomorrow to help me transition out of the big, black ski boot and onto walking again. I don't know how long it will take but it's nice to know I can try to push myself a bit more.

 Speaking of healing, Maggie is back to her true self. Little dog had FIFTEEN teeth removed, but she still has quite a few molars, so after following the vet's orders of staying on soft food for a couple of days, the little porker chowed down on a full dish of hard food. She takes her pills like a champ and has one more day of pain killers left.

Her dog walker came today and he said she was running around like the crazy dog she usually is, so clearly she's on the mend. I was very concerned about her health...and I felt so horrible listening to her whimper that first night...but, she's fine. Yesterday my mom left and I was quite's a lonely life when you're on crutches and immobile and we had a very nice visit, and Maggie was jumping all over me trying to lick my face, which she usually does whenever I cry. She'ssss back.
Speaking of bacckkkkk is the disgusting mess in my kitchen. It was clean less than 24 hours ago...but for a full week I had someone cleaning up after my beck and call....helping me with every need now it's back to real life and cleaning up as I go. And cleaning this giant mess. Which - on crutches or wearing the boot is usually a workout!!

Overall, the news is positive...ish. The major injury is healing slowly but surely....but there's a big question mark on the secondary injury. It's painful but I like to stay off the crazy painkillers....hopefully I'll have a bit more news after physio tomorrow. I'm off to do my Pilates mat workout...since that's the only workout I can do until I'm healed. Hasta Manana...

El Cranks

Well, I passed the three week mark since Stairgate 2016 and I've been surviving. THANKFULLY, my mom came to visit me from Vancouver and has been here with me for the past week. She leaves tomorrow and I'll probably ugly cry.

I have been calling her Consuela, my Mexican Maid, because where before, I had to hobble to get anything and everything, Consuela-Mom is now there to get it for me. I, personally think I'm incredibly miserable to be around - rating myself at a 50% miserable rate and 50% normal personality rate, but she generously rated me at 30/70 (30% being the miserable).

I had planned that the day after her arrival, I would have a list of tourist sites that we'd see and I would take her everywhere with her wheeling me around in the wheelchair I rented. Her and I would see all of what Montreal has to offer and she would have an amazing vacation.

The reality? We try to do one or two errands (or none), and I have a meltdown every second day, either because I haven't ate (I don't have much of an appetite on crutches - or in the heat), because I can't do anything, or because I'm in pain and have been in pain for going on three weeks now and I'm just tired.

When we've been able to leave the house, she's helped me pick out some decorating touches for my new apartment, which she later has to carry up the stairs and....either puts together or puts away when I'm down for my "time out nap".

One day, she held me at gunpoint and forced me to get a pedicure and actually sit and enjoy my coffee, and that most certainly was the best day. It was a little awkward getting a pedicure with the leg thing in the way, but my lady got it done and I felt pretty and pampered. I even found an ENGLISH magazine at the pharmacy and read it while my feet were soaking in foamy water.

She's also helped me out with Maggie. Maggie needed her teeth cleaned and most of them extracted (shitzus have shitty teeth, but she was about 2 years overdue for this procedure). I was a complete wreck. I don't consider myself a supersticious person, but I was looking for any sign imaginable to cancel her very routine, very safe procedure. I just couldn't grasp the concept of a 3kg dog going under general anesthesia. I cried all night the night before and didn't sleep and didn't sleep much of last night either. They gave the dog morphine, which turned her into 25% Maggie and 75% zombie. She was sort of in there....but she was basically high as a kite...and making whimpering noises and shivering every so often. It was pretty pitiful.

This morning I woke up and she had somehow got to the side of my bed and was trying to cuddle with me, so I took that as a good sign. She ate, walked, drank, did her business, and slept a lot.
Oh - and she was able to keep her tongue in her mouth - something she wasn't able to do the night before.

My vet is a very caring and compassionate place and they were extra caring with me, calling me with updates and treating Maggie like the little princess she is, where they gave her a certificate of bravery.

Anyway....I have the big doctor's appointment on Monday....and I'm crossing my fingers and pretty pink toes that the boot will come off and that I can start being a little bit more mobile and a lotta bit less cranky.


Well a week and a half later from my fall down the stairs and life is sort of starting to normalize. Groceries get delivered, the neighbour girl walks the dog in the morning, the dog walker comes once a day and helps me out a bit, and on the weekend my friend took me out to run some errands and out for a meal. I rented a wheelchair so that if I'm out I can be a little bit more comfortable and can actually do things, albeit sitting down.

I still feel pretty fortunate not to have hurt anything else, but this is a pretty wicked injury. The first...five or six days I was in very bad pain taking painkillers - which were a trip of their own. I could get around and do things, but I wouldn't remember saying a sentence not even five minutes later and would repeat the same thing over again. I was basically on complete bedrest, which wasn't great for my mood, but was good for my leg. Monday I went to physiotherapy where I was assessed and there is good news as I'm healing straight and properly - which vastly reduces the chance that I'll need surgery later. It's still pretty banged up and black and blue which limits a lot of what can be done and there's no way that I can ditch the crutches for some time, but with the walking cast/boot, I can now put my weight on my foot for a short period of time with minimal pain.

I found a few YouTube workouts for people with broken ankles that I started this week which really cheered me up. My body is clearly a lot weaker than before - surprisingly so, but I'll get my strength back up the more I start moving around, as soon as it's possible.

It's kind of ridiculous....I haven't had the best start (or middle) of 2016. I was really sick January and February, started getting migraines in March, was unsettled at work March, April, and May, and then lost my job in June. The final divorce papers came in July, then I got an infection in my upper gums that requires a minor surgery, and then I fall down the stairs and tear my ligaments.

Yes, people have it a lot worse. I have a roof over my head, money in the bank, and food in the fridge.  But man, I guess things have to get bad before they can get better. I struggle to remember that these are uncomfortable moments - not an uncomfortable life... While I'm grateful for my family, friends, and general health...I need to take some time and build my confidence back up so that I remember that I'm really good at what I do as a profession, that the...scars from my divorce will heal enough for me to walk in faith in my relationship and life a happy life.

My mom is coming here on Sunday which will lift my spirits. She'll be here for a week and I still have the wheelchair so we can play tourist in Montreal - which is pretty spectacular in the summer.

Until next time...

A Photo

I need to write a post about what life is like on high doses of codeine....and how I'm healing from my ridiculously fortunate fall...and what life is like on crutches and a wheelchair...but for now I just wanted to post one photo.

Thank God for fresh vegetables (I'm still in veggie-PTSD from Madagascar), days without humidity, and a little dog that truly is my best bud. ❤❤❤

Please Let There Be A Happily Ever After

Stairgate 2016 leaves me A LOT of time to think.
While marriage is clearly not for me (& I've never really wanted a wedding, thus the Madagascar impromptu one that was pretty freaking awesome), I still beleive in a happily ever after.

I elude here and there that I'm dating someone. He is probably one of the most amazing people I have met, but for once in my life, I just can't jump into this relationship. I've prayed that we end up together...but my wounds are too fresh from my marriage/divorce...and I need more time. He has a bunch of life stuff keeping him busy...and I use that as part of the reason that we're not together more often.

I want to beleive in a happily ever after...and instead of a wedding, I want to throw a big party celebrating our ten year anniversary. Like a wedding, but instead of promises and celebrating a new beginning, I want to celebrate the success of staying together, happily, for ten years.

And I want us to dance to this song


Stairs 1; Nicole 0

I finished my workout around 8pm yesterday - what I like to call the "Elephant Ballet" because I have old hardwood floors and I don't have a workout mat yet so I'm pretty sure my downstairs neighbours hear what sounds like an elephant heard performing some kind of ballet dance...

I came back to the living room and it was clear that the dog needed a night out on the park. :) Got her stuff together and....somehow ended up at the bottom of the first set of stairs in a tremendous amount of pain and not sure how I got there.

Well, I tripped obviously. These tiny stairs and my giant feet were never meant to be together... I landed very oddly, on my front I believe...and when I figured out what was going on, I was in a TREMENDOUS amount of pain, confused, I bit the bullet and called an ambulance. I kept telling them that I didn't think it was an emergency...they kept telling me it was an emergency..

Anyway, they got me to the hospital (no sirens, damn!) and it was clear that there was something not cool with my right foot/leg. Because I couldn't remember the details of my fall, I had to poked and prodded and xrays where taken and honestly, I received some very good care with a very little amount of wait time. Actually, now that I think about it, the ambulance took a long freaking time! I'm sure they got stuck in one of the thirty major roads closed for construction.. The ambulance guys were super friendly but a bit familiar... When I told them I was embarrassed for calling 9-1-1, they proceeded to tell me some of their "non emergency" calls, which of course were all sexual mishaps. I know they were trying to get me to laugh...but I was shaking (shock maybe?), in a lot of pain, and couldn't stop focusing on the huge....lump sticking out of my ankle.

At the hospital I waited for nearly two hours before seeing a doctor - something that I consider pretty miraculous, and then I was examined and sent home on crutches with an instruction to get a boot cast the next day. Oh, and they gave me a painkiller - which was the worst experience. Even worse than falling down the stairs. I felt like an alien was trying to escape from my stomach, while I was sweating, and later vomiting. All at 2am in the morning while my friend's boyfriend was driving me home, silently praying I wouldn't puke in his car, I'm sure.

Thankfully after texting my friend, her and her boyfriend came to the hospital. I had asked for her to help me out the next day, but (SO THANKFULLY) she knew I didn't know many people here and came just to chill with me at the hospital. It was greatly appreciated.

Today was all about getting the boot cast, getting a new painkiller, getting me groceries, and then me having a major meltdown because my very new dog walker decided to take the dog on an extra long walk (like 3 hours) and his cell phone was dead.

Recap: I haven't slept, I'm on painkillers, I'm in a lot of pain, I'm pretty shaken up from falling down ten stairs, and my dog is missing. wasn't a pretty scene.

When he came home he realized his mistake of not having his phone, we chat a bit about my expectations, and he's coming back tomorrow to take Maggie out for a bit. That way I only have to go down the stairs to let her out to pee in the morning and in the evening. And I don't use my crutches for that - I go down on my butt. I figure how can you fall on your ass (or ankle...), if you're already on your ass? Plus I get a killer arm workout.

All in all, this could have been pretty freaking disastrous but someone must have been looking out for me. I fell down 10 stairs - of a very, very steep set of stairs, and all I have is some stiff bones and a torn ligament, which is treated with a walking cast. I can't walk today and probably not tomorrow, but eventually I will be able to walk. The cast will be on for 3-5 weeks and I even have a follow up appointment scheduled with the doctor that saw me at the hospital. Like, that's pretty amazing considering the state of our medical system.

I am so grateful for the treatement that I received. I've mentioned this before but everything is backwards in Quebec....I don't feel like I'm in Canada most days... But from the paramedics picking me up to me going to bed tonight, I think I've received nothing but fast and attentive service and assistance...and it's not very often that one can say that these days. I know that in a few days I'll probably be crying myself to sleep because of pain/annoyance that I can't walk or workout or be any kind of self sufficient....but for now, I'm just happy to be in the situation I'm in.

Oh - and Maggie is fine and not traumatized. She's quite spoiled because she had a super long walk and my friends gave her like five treats and because I can't take care of her properly - she gets to sleep in my bed instead of her crate....

Photos and updates tomorrow or the next day.

Going to bed feeling so grateful, high on painkillers, and in a lot of pain.